Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
We’re getting dangerously close to the end of my buffer.
Damn. No household title card pic this week. Laaaaame.
Margaret: Hey! Stewart! What’s up?
Stewart: Last year of university.
Was that a collective sigh I just heard?
Rosemarie: Hey, Stephen? Hey! Come over and fuck me, I wanna spite your son.
And yet in preparation, she rewards the rest of us.
Margaret: Was I ever so young and naive as that picture?
That picture was taken three years ago.
Margaret: Ah, the golden days of youth.
Margaret: Doing anything I should keep out of?
Stewart: Anything I’m doing on my bed that my girlfriend can’t take part in is probably something that’ll make you break up with me.
Stewart: I was referring to-
Margaret: I got it.
Stewart: Fucking another woman, I mean.
Margaret: I GOT IT
Stewart: Behind your back, though.
Margaret: WILL THIS SHUT YOU UP
Margaret: You’d never cheat on me. You’re too soft.
Stewart: No, I’d never cheat on you because you’re too soft.
Stewart: And you smell nice.
Margaret: Not with that picture of his cat staring at me in the dark, no.
Margaret: And the one of his dad beside the door is even worse.
Margaret: …kinda hot, though.
Stephen never came?
Rosemarie: If he did, it was in someone else.
Brooke: Why are you doing that.
Margaret: As if what you’re doing isn’t weirder.
Rosemarie: HEY ASSHOLE WANNA ACTUALLY SHOW UP THIS TIME
Brooke: Mind if I use your computer?
Stewart: WHUH…? I guess not… I mean, you just got a full-on view of my dick, so I suppose we’re really close, now?
Margaret: I’m taking some of these.
Stewart: This is my room, not the common room!
Stewart: Go be common somewhere else!
Margaret: You’re sexy when you’re assertive!
Stewart: No, I’m sexy when you’re lovesick.
Rosemarie: I like how half of your food ends up on my plate. It’s very generous of you.
Stewart: Man, sure is great getting laid on the reg!
Margaret: Thanks for assassinating my character to the entire dorm, honey.
Stephen: Honey bunny!
Stephen: Honey blonde.
Margaret: Don’t talk to me.
Rosemarie: Talk to me!
Stephen: Why? I’ve already got you where I want you.
August: I just want you to know that whatever Stewart says about you is wrong.
Rosemarie: I only wish that were true.
Margaret: Hey, sugar bun!
Stewart: It’s an omelette, stupid.
Stephen: So, does this dorm have an undress code or something?
Rosemarie: Let’s assume yes.
Stephen: It’s a good operating assumption.
Margaret: Does that bother you?
Stewart: No, but it should bother him. She ran over my brother.
Margaret: Maybe your brother didn’t make his list of top five sons.
Stewart: Oh, probably.
Rosemarie: Not many hundred-year-old dudes have an ass this hard!
Stephen: I’m only in my late nineties, though.
Rosemarie: I AM GRABBING STEPHEN MURPHY’S GLUTEUS MAXIMUS.
Stewart: GOOD FOR YOU.
Pamela: Boo! Bad for you! BOO!
Stephen: I’ve always had a thing for redheads.
Rosemarie: You and every other dude.
Stephen: Yeah, but I cheated on the coolest chick in the world for one.
Rosemarie: And now you’re cheating on her for another one!
Stephen: I’m a serial gingerer.
Rosemarie: Don’t say ginger too loud. Celeste almost burned the entire university down last time she tried to make cookies.
Stephen: HELLO MARGARET NICE TO SEE YOU
Margaret: You’re despicable.
Rosemarie: But lickable!
Stewart: BRB GOTTA NOT BE SEEING THIS
Stephen: I love it when you claw my ass.
Rosemarie: Me too!
Stephen: I bet you look pretty good under there, Margaret.
Rosemarie: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME
Stephen: Stay back! I’ve got frame hands!
Stephen: Oh no! Naked cheerleaders! I must investigate and report.
Stephen: My report will be favourable.
Stephen: Next time I see a genie I’m asking to go back to university.
Rosemarie: What an asshole.
August: Somebody call me?
August: Hey, it’s that gross ginger!
Celeste: HOW COULD YOU
August: How’s your new boyfriend? Ancient enough for you?
Rosemarie: How’s your new girlfriend? By which I mean your freshly-washed left hand.
August: I haven’t washed it! That’d wipe off all the lube!
These books must stop.
Margaret: Stephen is so hot! In Stewart. Genetically.
Stephen: Good save.
Stephen: Does anyone around here wear actual clothes?
Margaret: Most of the dudes, because we voted on it.
Stephen: Well hello there, floaty!
Margaret: IT’S THE BUBBLE BLOWER NOT YOUR PHEREMONES
Pamela: Sounds like someone’s got a crush.
Margaret: GOTTA CRUSH YOUR TRACHEA IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD
Coach Ted: Are you the fittest woman here?
Rosemarie: I like to think so…
Coach Ted: DON’T BE SO FAT YOU GOTTA WORK OUT
Rosemarie: You truly are insane.
Coach Ted: Just look at that flab!
Rosemarie: Well, keep doing your pointing exercises and I’m sure you’ll work some of it off.
Margaret: Coach Ted got schooled!
Coach Ted: THAT’S FINE THIS IS A SCHOOL
Jewel: Coach Ted got burned.
Coach Ted: THAT’S FINE CELESTE IS A PYROMANIAC
Coach Ted: Are you the fittest man here?
Coy: I’m the fittest man leaving.
Celeste: Hmm… llama steaks.
Stewart: Ohhh…. yes! YES! RoseMARGARET
Stewart: I’d better get her to change her name to Rosemargaret before I make that mistake again.
Your taste in women.
It is two-thirds explicable.
Why are you rubbing your homework on the… hahaha! Home icon! While you’re doing homework!
…what was I…
Oh yeah! Why are you rubbing your homework on the sidewalk?
Stewart: It’s a rough draft.
Burn the whole place down, Celeste.
Brooke: Hey! It’s that guy who’s losing both his girlfriends to his dad!
Stewart: Just the one!
Brooke: Oops! My bad! You’re the guy who doesn’t know he’s losing both his girlfriends to his dad!
Margaret: Fada soola gor?
Jewel: We already have a better Margaret here.
Margaret: But is she a cheerleader?
Jewel: NO SHE’S A LOSER
Three out of four of these people don’t attend this university.
Margaret: Not even gonna say “hi”?
Stewart: I’m playing hard-to-get.
Margaret: I think that’s a pre-sex tactic, though.
Margaret: Hey, you mind ditching that rag? I’m more of a hats girl.
Stewart: And I’m more of a tits guy, but I don’t see you walking around naked.
Margaret: I also expect you to cook for me.
Stewart: How refreshingly modern of you.
Margaret: And I hate makeup.
Stewart: HOW ELSE CAN I DISGUISE ALL THIS MAXIS?
Stewart: The hat was easy enough.
Hey! Is that a genuine University of Centreborough Frolickin’ Furries hat?
Stewart: You know it is. You quit the game a few hours ago so you could make it.
AND I EXPECT PEOPLE TO NOTICE SO I’M POINTING IT OUT
Stewart: Sure is a lot of bunnies around here.
They breed like Catholics.
Stewart: What’s with all the MNU people?
They have to hang out here, since I never use their cursed campus anymore.
Margaret: That uniform’s a bit minimalist, don’t you think?
Jewel: I’d take the ears off, but then I’d be naked.
Margaret: PUT SOME CLOTHES ON SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP
Margaret: This is a hostile university takeover!
Stewart: This is an ambivalent university taking off.
Stewart: By which I meant walking away.
Yeah, I got it.
Stewart: I can never remember who I’m smarter than.
Stewart: I like that everything here is open 24-7.
Everything everywhere is open 24-7 in the Sims.
Stewart: I guess they have to be, since they only sell like one thing a day.
Brooke: Got your one thing?
Stewart: Can I use the changing booth?
Brooke: Please do! I can’t wait to review the video feed later!
Stewart: What do you think?
Brooke: It’s… subtle.
Did you buy literally all the UoC merch they had?!
Stewart: I got the underwear but couldn’t afford the cock ring.
Stewart: Hi, Pirate Hoppy.
Pirate Hoppy: What is happening to me.
Stalker Hoppy: What is continuing to happen to me.
Brooke: CALL. THE. COPS.
Harmony: Hey, worm! UoC pride!
Stewart: If it gets me chicks, I’ll paint my face with these hideous colours.
Emmy: And they are hideous.
Gabe: UoC pride!
Stewart: You don’t go here.
Gabe: I know! I was just pointing out one of your flaws.
Stewart: Stop that!
Gabe: I’ve never been addressed by a playable before! I want another hit!
Stewart: FIX IT.
Nerissa: It’s just that you never call me!
William: It’s just that I never need to! Other chicks, baby!
Nerissa: You’re a prick.
William: Captain Sparkles can’t hear you, and I’m not whipping him out in public.
Uma: We only serve playables here.
Gerard: I’m a playable.
Uma: Don’t make me laugh.
Tazama Vijayakar: Hey, nice form-fitting dress!
Nerissa: It clips like you wouldn’t believe.
William: Do you got any other cute little buggers like this one?
Tazama: I just saw some kind of hideous slime monster, we’d better hide.
Stewart: People sure do like my new outfit!
Who’re you buying that for?
Stewart: My girlfriend.
…and which one is that, again?
Iris: Do you allow diving suits in here?
Brady: …we’ve never had to disallow them…
Iris: Because I don’t think I can get out.
Brady: Hey! No customers behind the counter!
Iris: Is that where I am? I can’t see a goddamn thing.
Brady: Fine, you work here now.
Cheryl: Who’s the special lady?
Stewart: If I try to say it it’ll come out wrong.
Stewart: Does this stuff work?
Cheryl: You mean, does it smell? Definitely.
Stewart: Gimme a bottle of stink, baby.
Nerissa: Oh, pinball machine, don’t say that! What a nutcase.
Stewart: Your parts are showing, FRIDAY.
Abigail: Off the flowers, Stewart, we private schooled you better than that.
Abigail: And take off that ridiculous outfit.
FRIDAY: Heyyyy sexy mama, ready for round two?
Abigail: We’re both immortal, it can wait another hundred years or so.
Stewart: I wonder what horrible things have happened here while I was gone.
None. Time stands still when you leave.
Stewart: Time stands still when I’m here.
Stewart: I’m sure gonna miss this place.
I look forward to missing it.
Margaret: I hope Stewart comes back soon.
Stephen: Why? He literally just left.
Margaret: I know, right? It’s been ages.
Margaret: I don’t know why the whole state knows this stupid hula dance.
Stephen: It’s because one jerk brought it back from his vacation.
That is literally the reason.
If that leaks through the roof…
Stewart: It might put out the fires Celeste keeps starting.
Stewart: I’m surprised mom hasn’t invented a less Mickey Mouse-looking version of this.
It wouldn be mad science if it looked safe.
Margaret: BACK OFF BITCH, HE’S My boyfriend’s dad.
Pamela: Apparently I’m a lesbian.
Harmony: And apparently I’m not attractive to lesbians?
Stewart: This city is pretty friggin’ fantastic.
I don’t mind saying that it is.
And that tower was a goddamn brilliant idea.
Oh, come on! You’re not supposed to be in there, that’s… maintenance only.
Stewart: It’s nice to have a university that hasn’t become notorious for an outbreak of zombiism or serial killing.
Unrealistic, but nice.
Stewart: I MUST HAVE MORE JEWELLERY
Brooke: Okay! That’s weird!
Margaret: He knows he can’t buy jewellery for other people, right?
You can’t buy clothes for other people, but I let him do it anyway.
Margaret: This is the kind of entitlement complex enabling that causes people to slow dance in the middle of the road, you know that?
Margaret: I love green roofs.
Yeah, and so do landscapers and roofing companies!
BECAUSE THEY ROT
Good god, Stewart, how much cologne do you need?
Stewart: I was hoping to replace my blood with it.
Stewart: I’ve seen enough cologne commercials to know that this will either drive the chicks wild or cause something insanely psychedelic to happen, and I’m fine with it either way.
Margaret: WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR SMELL
Stewart: Yeah, I have to keep moving to stay ahead of it.
Stewart: Wanna go for a walk?
Margaret: I think we’d better air you out, yeah.
Stewart: There’s that park nobody ever uses ‘cuz it’s got no toilets.
Margaret: Too bad, we could use you as an air freshener otherwise.
Stewart: And the judges are all like “JUDGE JUDGE JUDGE”
Margaret: They do that!
Stewart: And then there’s this guy and they’re like “where’d he come from?”
Margaret: Who is this guy?!
Stewart: But he has a bomb!
Margaret: Oh no!
Margaret: Stop reading ahead.
Stewart: It’s a lot happier than reading behind.
Margaret: Don’t ruin our date with your dead brother crap.
Margaret: Place looks pretty deserted.
Stewart: Dormies figure if they’re gonna piss themselves, they might as well do it at home.
Margaret: You sure pick the most romantic topics.
Stewart: Keep walking, there’s a preppy behind us.
Stewart: I just feel like maybe my siblings or my parents or my friends could stop letting me down, you know? One out of three at least.
Margaret: Do lovers constitute a fourth category?
Stewart: Even then, Rosemarie-
Margaret: Shut up, you idiot.
Margaret: Use your mouth for more productive things.
Jasmyn: Oh my gosh! Do you need me to call the cops, Margaret?!
Stewart: I’m her boyfriend.
Jasmyn: Tell it to the courts, O.J.
Stewart: Okay, that’s enough public space for one day.
Margaret: Where can we go that would be less crowded than this empty park?
Stewart: An amenity that no non-playable Sim can use in public.
Stewart: The community pool.
Andrzej: Is not a giant toilet?
Margaret: Ooh, pretty.
Stewart: And I don’t think anyone’s ever died here, either!
Stewart: But I might just die in your arms tonight.
Margaret: Don’t sing.
Stewart: C’mere, you.
Margaret: Making me do stuff is not romantic.
Stewart: I’ve chosen you, you know? Rosemarie can go to hell.
Margaret: Oh, Stewart. She’s doing that whether you want her to or not.
Emmy: SO I’LL JUST BE GOING THEN
Stewart: Or watch, whatever floats your boat.
Emmy: I’m next in line!
Emmy: Ooh, diagonal! That’s an advanced move.
Emmy: I’m gonna kiss your legs.
Margaret: Hey! Stewart! Focus.
Emmy: Hmm. In the dark I bet he’d mistake me for her.
Margaret: Personal space, Emmy.
Emmy: Public space, Margaret. You are naked in it.
Stewart: Hey! So we are.
Stewart: Yet another stopover on my endless walk of shame.
Stewart: Want some hot coffee?
Margaret: Is that a euphemism?
Stewart: Only in Grand Theft Auto.
Stewart: I’m buying.
Margaret: ‘cuz I have boobs!
Pirate Hoppy: I a-door that girl! AHAHAHAHA.
Stewart: We might need to pay these people to leave us alone.
Wendy: SURE COULD USE A NEW PS4
Stewart: For that much money, I can damn well put up with you.
Kendra: Hey, Stewart Murphy, right? You’re on our “to-do” list.
Margaret: Better do him to death, then.
Stewart: Why would I visit prostitutes when I have you?
Margaret: You need to work on your compliments, they’re phrased in very unfortunate ways sometimes.
Margaret: You make up for it in other things, though.
Stewart: I’m a slave to your desires, ma’am.
Margaret: Strawberry shortcake, on the double!
Shane: Well, what are you waiting for? I’ll take over.
Stewart: ♪ MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowwwwwing dowwwwn ♪
Margaret: I’ll do anything you want just stop.
Stewart: Anything, huh?
Alvin: Hey, it’s Fashion Plate Stewart Murphy!
Stewart: Oh no, that Melanie thing is happening to me now.
Clay: Is that Fashion Plate Stewart Murphy I hear behind me?
Stewart: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
Margaret: There’s a diner here?
I usually get the one in Pine Valley confused with it, so it doesn’t show up often.
Margaret: Why did you make so many community lots that you can actually start forgetting some?
Stewart: You are my witness, she said anything.
Margaret: I didn’t say anywhere, though.
Stewart: It was implied.
Stewart: Nope, nope! Lower.
Margaret: Aw, c’mon! There’s people here!
Stewart: Where? All I see are townies.
Margaret: I guess I need to start ignoring the unpeople if I’m gonna be a playable some day.
Jack: I’m happy with your decision.
Jack: Others might object, though.
Margaret: This is a lot more embarassing for you, you know. My hair covers most of my awkward bits.
Stewart: Baby, you don’t have any awkward bits.
Margaret: I guess you wear the awkward bits in this relationship.
Stewart: I dunno, you seem to be wearing one of them right now.
Stewart: Ah-hah-HAH! EEEEESH. Wear it, don’t tear it!
Duckface blowjob is best blowjob.
Even the trees are turning white with mortification.
Stewart: It’s like a river of honey with a truly fantastic head.
Stewart: I didn’t think you’d actually do that I’m so ashamed.
Next time: oh, you know the drill. These university bits take forever.
Margaret: As long as we’re prolonging his embarassment, I’m in.