Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
Yesterday is today.
You’re getting a new character today.
Deborah: You mean yesterday?
Deborah: You mean a co-star, though, right?
No, that’ll be you.
Deborah: I could use another friend, I guess!
Hey, the more characters there are here, the less likely I am to burn the whole place down!
Unless they’re all like you, that is.
Deborah: Hey, I thought you weren’t going to call your own stuff boring anymore!
Oh, it’s not me that’s the problem.
Deborah: Hm? Oh, hey, Carolina! You are a person that I know!
Deborah: OH MY GOD CAROLINA YOU’RE THE NEW CHARACTER COME OVER QUICK BEFORE HE KILLS ME
Carolina: Sounds like a lot of effort to me.
Carolina: I’m Carolina Siew! I’m a teacher at Pine Valley Elementary. I want to be the Minister of Education some day!
Why am I making you come over? You don’t sound very interesting.
Carolina: Sure, but… Deborah.
Carolina: Hi! Don’t touch me.
Carolina: Glad to see you’re still in the pink, Deborah!
Deborah: Aww, you were worried about me!
Carolina: No, I meant your clothes. They’re pink. That’s really all there is to your character!
Deborah: I thought you meant “in the pink” as in “still alive.” Pink-skinned.
Carolina: That’s stupid. Your skin isn’t pink. It’s, like, beige.
Carolina: Seriously, woman, hands off.
Carolina: What’s this?
Deborah: Whatever was in my inventory. So you’ll like me!
Deborah: Hey! They ran my column again today!
Carolina: Don’t they run it every day? Aren’t you one of their regular columnists?
Deborah: Yeah, but I couldn’t think of a less awkward way to bring up my success. So you’ll like me.
Elle: BABY POOP IS WORST POOP
Elle: Thought you all should know.
Deborah: Hey, your boobs aren’t as good as mine!
Deborah: It means you can stay.
Deborah: Your eyes are a more interesting colour, though.
Carolina: I’ll shut them a bunch if it’ll make you happy. Maybe all the pink will take longer to make them bleed, that way.
Deborah: Eventually you just lose the ability to see it altogether. Which is kinda awesome.
Deborah: So, Carolina! Want to tell the readers how we met?
Carolina: I don’t remember!
Deborah: NEITHER DO I. I was really hoping you’d tell me.
And don’t look at me.
Especially Deborah. Never look at me, Deborah.
Carolina: Is this that thing you just took off the shelf?!
Deborah: And if you move in, it’ll go right back there! Score.
Carolina: There is no way this should be working.
Deborah: Man, I like you! Your figure is so dull, it makes me look like Christina fuckin’ Hendricks over here!
Carolina: Except Christina friggin’ Hendricks isn’t boring.
Deborah: Who needs personality with juggs like those?!
Carolina: Okay! Wow. Glad you’re not a teacher.
Deborah: What makes you such a great teacher, Charlie Brown? ‘cuz you’re all brown.
Carolina: Well, I have an insatiable appetite for knowledge.
Deborah: OVEREATER, GO ON
Carolina: I’m always there for my students…
Deborah: YEAH, CHILD MOLESTER, GO ON
Carolina: I’m trying to make friends with a local historical figure so she’ll talk to my classes-
Deborah: THAT ZOMBIE BITCH STOLE MY WILLIAM I’LL KILL HER
Carolina: …yeah. Anyway, I’m also financially independent.
Deborah: Move in with me.
Carolina: Really? I’d love to! Let me get my stuff!
Deborah: No. Let’s use all your money. To buy new stuff. For me. Us.
Carolina: Don’t make me hurt you. I’m a supply gym teacher too.
Deborah: Momma’s makin’ the house into a sitcom, baby! NOBODY’S HOUSE EVER BURNS DOWN IN A SITCOM.
Rebecca: You’ll manage.
Deborah: I’ll take that as an expression of trust.
Rebecca: You would.
Flamingo: Get away from me! I can change the weather.
Deborah: You messing with my weather-changing flamingo?
Aurora: Hey lady, the wind took off your roof.
Carolina: I’m not sure I want to live in this madhouse, Deborah.
Deborah: You should see the other houses.
Flamingo: You’ve got about three seconds before the lightning comes.
Carolina: I think it already has!
Carolina: If you know what I mean.
Deborah: But we’re both a bit gay now apparently?
Carolina: Just to add a little more potential drama.
You’re a real sport, Carolina.
Deborah: If I get killed, will you bring me back?
Carolina: Not if the Maker does it. I know better than to mess with a good thing.
Nicholas King: Which one of you is Deborah Cavendish?
Deborah: What if a stranger does it, though?
Nicholas: I’m the Chief of Police.
Carolina: If he’s the Chief of Police, still no dice.
Nicholas: Hey, what’s this thing over my head?
Carolina: I thought that dude and his wife were the Chiefs of Police?
Nicholas: No, seriously guys, what the fuck? It’s just hanging there!
Deborah: Maybe we have three Police Chiefs because they’re all like him.
Nicholas: I wanted to thank Ms. Cavendish for her lovely article on Officer Mamuyak last week.
Carolina: The one who got eaten by the cowplant?
Nicholas: No, that was Officer Wright. Officer Mamuyak accidentally pocketed his own pool ladder and drowned to death. Inventory-based deaths are pretty common since Nightlife was installed.
Carolina: He seems legit, Deborah.
Deborah: MAKE IT STOP RAINING FOR THE NICE MAN
Nicholas: She seems kinda off, though.
Deborah: A new best friend and a love interest, all in one day!
Nicholas: Hey now, don’t go ruining my day on a whim!
Nicholas: Although I am looking for someone new in my life. Preferably someone who’s a deep well of no personality that I can pour my stupid cop shit into.
Deborah: GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!
Deborah: Date me!
Nicholas: You seem pretty bland.
Deborah: I could get a HAT!
Nicholas: Hmm. Pretend to be that woman across the street. Lora or whatever.
Deborah: …”Oh, look at me, I’m an ugly Maxis townie and I have sex with old men and butlers”?
Nicholas: YES BABY CLIP THROUGH ME
Nicholas: CLIP THROUGH ME HARD
Nicholas: SMASH YOUR FACE RIGHT IN THERE
Nicholas: BONUS POINTS IF OUR LIPS NEVER TOUCH
Nicholas: Okay, nice meeting you guys!
Carolina: I bet I could study for twenty years and never figure out how to explain what the heck just happened.
Deborah: It’s over between us, William! I met a man who loves me for me! He thinks I’m stylish.
William: Boring is a style?
Carolina: Who’s there? Is that you, Deborah?
Carolina: I’m starving! What’s for dinner?
Carolina: …what the heck is a failcake?
Deborah: It’s a grilled cheese sandwich when you don’t know how to make them.
Carolina: Hey, as long as you made it, I’m happy to have it.
Carolina: …but these are terrible.
Deborah: ACT LIKE LORA GAST. SERIOUSLY.
Deborah: Literally the only person lower on the cast list than me.
Deborah: How many award-winning weblogs has she got? I bet she hasn’t even gotten her second yet.
Carolina: Everyone looks about the same, here on the bottom tier.
Carolina: And her hair is better than yours.
Deborah: I USUALLY EAT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE TOO JUST TO FEEL LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON
Carolina: I can see why that would appeal to you.
Deborah: But I bet this other person is dull, too.
Carolina: If dullness was a crime you could at least get more facetime with Officer Psycho.
Deborah: Say Carolina. CAROLINA.
Rebecca: We’re moving?
Carolina: Like heck we are.
Deborah: I want to teach you a song to sing so we can impress Carolina.
Rebecca: Sure sounds like something I want to spend one-fourth of my toddlerhood on.
Deborah: DON’T CROSS ME YOU LITTLE SHIT
Carolina: Yay, matching beds. Perfect for getting knifed in your sleep on.
Deborah: I can almost see you past my eyelids.
Deborah: I bet William is all jealous now!
I’ll take that bet! Winner gets to kill the loser.
Deborah: Come on, William! He said he’d kill me!
William: And that’s somehow worse than me having to like you?!
Carolina: I heard you weren’t allowed to use that anymore since you almost burned your house down once.
Deborah: So push me in and let me die already, GRETEL.
Carolina: Good one! My kids at school will actually get that reference! Later.
Deborah: Staring at my figure, eh?
Wondering why it gets so depressing around the neck area.
…and we’re done?
Deborah: What? It’s only been eighty-nine images!
There is a god!
And it’s me.
Next time: sword fights and fucking.