The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 139

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!

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Short one today.

And yet, it’s late!


I remember back when this was the only reliable way to kill a Sim.

Oh, how times have changed.

Clay here is cultivating one of the many new ways we have discovered.


Abigail: Clean this shit up!
Clay: Haha! It’s funny because you’re a woman and I’m a man.

Abigail: The traditional gender role binary does not quite cover how utterly I own your ass.
Clay: Yeah, I like that about it.

Work Twins power: activate!

Clay: What kind of twins are we when we’re not dressed for work?

Aryan. Let’s not talk about it.

Clay: Wait! I forgot! I’m a criminal, I can skip work if I want to.

Clay: And this dude looks way more interesting.

Justus Bertino: These your butterflies? These shit butterflies.

Clay: I bet you know better butterflies, awesome hobo man.

Clay: I’m Clay Fuchs. Who are you?
Justuc: I’m Giveno Fuchs. Can’t you tell?

Clay: You’re too awesome for my lawn.
Justus: Don’t I know it.

Clay: I want to be like you when I grow up.

Cure anything rare today?

Abigail: Nope, just the common cold.

I bought you a trendy hipstermobile. You know, to go with your everything.

Abigail: Yeah, this definitely isn’t my final form.

Clay: You’re home early.
Abigail: Nope! It just feels that way because he’s not taking many pictures.

Do something interesting and I will.

Abigail: Hey Stephen.

That definitely doesn’t count.

Abigail: Do you know our son went and fucked around with my robots? Gave them yellow skin and everything. Did you touch him when he was little or something?

Abigail: Of course I don’t want to go out with you. I thought I made that very clear by refusing to sleep with you during several decades of marriage.

Stephen: I just thought you needed a short break after those eight kids I pumped into you.

Abigail: Were there seriously eight? Wow, natural selection sure hasn’t been kind to your genes.

I had lobster last night for dinner.

Abigail: Was it good?

I don’t remember. By the time this goes up it will have been like two months ago.

(Update: I do remember. It was fantastic.)

Abigail: What did you do all day?
Clay: This.

Clay: And a little of this, too.

Abigail: Do you ever feel stupid because you’re uneducated and I’m a genius?

Clay: Only when you bluntly bring it up.

Abigail: I just want to make sure you’re the one for me. I’m thinking about spending the rest of your life with you.

Clay: Aww! That’s… wait. You mean the rest of your life, right?
Abigail: No, that’s stupid.

Abigail: I’ll understand if you say no, since the last time I was gonna ask a guy, I accidentally murdered him…

Abigail: But Clay, will you be my bitch? I mean, my wife? I mean, my kept man?

Clay: Yes sir I will!

Abigail: Tight.

Abigail: And I totally don’t immediately regret this decision either.

Clay: Ooooh, it’s gonna be so hard not to hock this… and steal it back later.

Abigail: .oO(At least he’d steal it back…)

Clay: You would look smokin’ with a monocle, baby.

Abigail: I’m taking some of your lobster.

Abigail: Never mind.

Clay: Do you ever feel unfulfilled because you’re a genius and I’m uneducated?

Abigail: It’s an acquired taste.

Clay: You could use some of your science magic on me and send me to college!

Abigail: Do you really want that kind of disappointment at your stage in life?

Abigail: Would it really be better to be a dropout criminal than just a normal, bog-standard criminal?

Clay: Well how ’bout I eat your leftovers, bitch.

You’ve already created sentient robots. What more are you hoping to learn?

Abigail: I’m gonna write the definitive works on all the major branches of science.


Abigail: So I can figure out how to clone myself.

Clay: As long as you don’t take it in shifts to boss me around.

Abigail: Who needs shifts when you’ve got an energizer?

Happy Birthday, Clay! Make a wish!

Abigail: He probably would, too. What was I thinking.

Abigail: Ohhhh, right. I was thinking about his body.

Abigail: Woo! Robots!
Clay: Way cooler than sleep!

Abigail: Sleep is for undergrads.

Don’t bring your work home with you, Clay.

Abigail’s work, on the other hand, is her home.

Abigail: “Tinkering with Tinkering: A Primer in Prototechnics” by Abigail Young.

Abigail: “To Clay: you are the baseline that inspires me to excel. You.”

Clay: Are you insulting me in my sleep, too?

Abigail: I am always insulting you.

Abigail: “The key to discovery is poise. Always puff out your chest, and always extend your pointing finger to the stars.”

Abigail: “They key to failure is also poise.”

Brooke: My route gets all the science weirdos.

Be careful they don’t kidnap you for experiments.

Abigail: This would go a lot easier if I had some test subjects.

Clay: And that’s my cue to leave…

Abigail: This shouldn’t be so hard. I’m at the top of my game! I’m perpetually thirty.

It can’t have anything to do with your fucked-up body chemistry, that’s for sure.

Abigail: Leave the knowledge to the Knowledge Sims, honey.

Kay: Hi!
Kitty: Nope.

Abigail: Let’s try an intelligence test.


Next time: a plot development.

Remember when we used to have those?

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