The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 128

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every day this week!

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At this point I could almost catch up to myself!

If I didn’t have the next TWENTY EIGHT CHAPTERS already written, that is.

Oh yeah. Not goin’ anywhere again soon, babies.

EDIT: uploaded the nude images to Photobucket, since FileFap is being fappin’ ridiculous. PB will take them down eventually, but I’m not letting FF ruin my week streak!

And now, this.


Jessie: Where’s the lesbian sex? I heard there was lesbian sex this week.

Kendra: It starts when you leave.

Jessie: But there’s straight sex in the way.

Kendra: So hurry up and have it, then.

Jessie: Hey, you look just like a woman I saw living in a real house with a rich husband once.

Kendra: Would you look at the time, it’s pay-me-and-leave-o’clock.

Jessie: It’s not my fault you have sex for money.
Kendra: It kind of is? Directly?

Jessie: Nope. I only pay in flowers.

Abigail: So you’re saying I can get free flowers for sex?

Abigail: Sure, bitch, littering is cool. We don’t all share this planet or anything.

Ha, how did you even see that down there? Do you have x-ray goggles I don’t know about?

Abigail: What? No. X-ray contacts. I thought I told you.

Kendra: Wow, she’s like my negative.

Abigail: Actually no. A negative of you would be all blue and pink.
Kendra: How can you know boring shit like that and not be my negative?

Abigail: Do you always insult your customers?
Kendra: Only when I think they get off on it.

Abigail: What makes you think I like being insulted?
Kendra: It reminds you how inferior everyone else is.

Abigail: Curse you, superiority complex!

I think you shouldn’t water those.

Abigail: And I think you’re a historian, not a botanist.

Are you actually considering this?

Abigail: I seek new experiences. I’m a Knowledge Sim.

Yeah, but are you a Carnal Knowledge Sim?

Kendra: If you’re not, I can teach you to be.

Abigail: I’m flattered that you’d go gay for me. Or impressed by your industriousness.

Maybe a little of both?

Abigail: No. My brain is analogue only.

Kendra: Lesbians have a special relationship. They’re like best friends with benefits.

Abigail: I’ve never had a best friend.

Kendra: Okay, well… it’s like… being on a date with someone, but always.

Abigail:

Abigail: I haven’t been on a real date in years.

Abigail: I’m like a hundred years old.

Kendra: How are you still alive?

Kendra: If I kiss you, will it taste like Werther’s Original or Tums?

Kendra: Look, my schedule’s free tonight. I can offer you a new customer discount.
Abigail: With premises like this, I’m surprised you have non-discounted rates.
Kendra: You kidding? People pay extra for the grimy shithole aesthetic.

Kendra: The police are particularly fond of it.

Kendra: A punk once beat up one of the Chiefs to protect my honour.

Abigail: Prostitutes have honour?!

Kendra: Says the woman who invented the fly pistol.

Kendra: Aww, don’t be mad.
Abigail: WHAT’S DISHONOURABLE ABOUT MY FLY PISTOL

Abigail: No, seriously, it’s pretty awesome.

Kendra: I have to take care of something first.
Abigail: I’m not gonna help you dumpster your baby.

Kendra: Ugh. I would never put my kid in a dumpster.
Richard: .oO(What? Then it was an empty threat all this time?!)

Kendra: White people, eh, kid?

Kendra: Make a wish that doesn’t cost anything!

Well.

I guess we have to start calling you Little Richard now.

Richard: .oO(I’m gonna escape this shithole! With style.)

You can’t even escape confetti.

Abigail: This sawdust cake was very convincing.

Abigail: I guess we aren’t gonna do the deed tonight, eh?
Kendra: Why? Cake turns you off or something?

Abigail: Children turn me off.
Kendra: Then how the hell did you have eight?!

Kendra: If you want to test homosexuality, here are your options: a straight, relatively clean prostitute, or a scrunchy-faced actual lesbian who’s married to my ex-husband and oh shit, please do that, he’d flip.

Abigail: Sorry, you sold me with that “relatively clean” bit.

Kendra: If you give me a minute I can even remedy the “relatively” part.

Kendra: But I really wish you could still ruin Michael’s life for me.
Abigail: Statistically he won’t have very much longer anyway.

Abigail: I have money riding on him getting an axe to the face somehow.

Kendra: You have no idea how much that turns me on.
Abigail: Sure I do! And this pic proves it.

Abigail: Wow, you have a real upstairs? I thought these were just cosmetic.
Kendra: Like your padded bra?
Abigail: I didn’t pick this outfit.

Kendra: I didn’t pick this one either, but I like it.

Abigail: It’s not exactly all-season, though, is it?

Kendra: I dunno, personally I could do this year-round.

This is the only kind of diving you can do in winter.

Kendra: Was it good for you?
Abigail: Absolutely! It’s a total body workout and produces some very useful chemical reactions.

Kendra: I see why most scientists get divorced a bunch now.

Kendra: And I also see some of the charm of lesbianism. I mean, wow, the taste of toothpaste is such a pleasant change!

Ebony and Ivory, hardcore edition.

Abigail: I don’t have to reciprocate, do I?
Kendra: Of course not.
Abigail: Good. Because eeeuuuch.

Kendra: Mine in particular, or just in general?

Abigail: I’m not sure why I can’t just pay her in cash.

She hasn’t got a mattress to stuff it into.

Don’t encourage the kid to dream, Kendra. It’s cruel.

Richard: Kendra.
Kendra: That’s right! That’s what you’ll start calling me when you become a teenager and we start fighting.

Kendra: It’s full? Shit in this instead.

Kendra: It was Michael’s.

Kendra: This hole isn’t for you. Yours will be much shallower.

Kendra: Get some rest, kiddo. Mommy has to work her second job now.

Kendra: Dig all night, “lay pipe” all day.

Kendra: Hey, a shower!

Kendra: We can’t afford the water bill.

Kendra: Have a good sleep, buddy?
Richard: .oO(I’m wet and covered in dirt.)

Sounds like you had a good time last night.

Nice!

Maybe soon you can afford floors.

Kendra: Floors just need mopping.

Richard: .oO(We need to talk about your indecent exposure fetish.)

Richard: .oO(Oh my god! When did we get a pool?!)

Finding anything good? Maybe treasure maps? Or treasure chests?

Kendra: Mostly it’s aluminum siding and wooden posts, actually.

Next time: university.

Stop making that face.

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