The Sharpesvale Chronicles: A Romance of Death and Cynicism

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, your #1 source for serial killers, mad scientists, and zombies!

This hugely detailed generational story is narrated by a foul-tempered, sarcastic, bleeding-heart narrator who writes better than you can and constantly gets into postmodern arguments with his own characters.

Expect black humour, random apocalypses, and about a hundred jokes per chapter. Unsafe at any work!

NOTE: This blog has been migrated from its original home at LiveJournal. Don’t click that link. LiveJournal is garbage. Please let me know if you notice anything out of place here, where everything is wonderful and smells nice!

Check after this post for recent chapters, pick one below, or start at the beginning! Otherwise, try this sample chapter.

Chapter Updates
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The Oak Point Reconstruction, Part 3 of 15

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I meant to move back to the Chronicles today, but it wasn’t to be.

So, have bad pictures with much better captions instead of better pictures and bad captions, which is what you’d get if I tried to write the Chronicles this late in the… morning, actually.

This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It’s grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it’s frankly hilarious. Don’t hold it against me; it’s not beautiful enough!

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The Oak Point Reconstruction, Part 2 of 15

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Well! I took all day writing a lecture, so I have zero creativity left for the Chronicles.

Lucky for me I’ve got a few of these in the bag! Whether it’s lucky for you, well, that’s your problem innit.

This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It’s grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it’s frankly hilarious. Don’t hold it against me; it’s not beautiful enough!

Continue reading →

The Oak Point Reconstruction, Part 1 of 15

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So! In the far-flung future of the Sharpesvale Chronicles, I eventually decide to immigrate in all the Sims from my older neighbourhoods to shake things up a little, post… well, actually, I can’t tell you post-what! Post the ending, basically.

I’ve made a few attempts at firing up my third generation storyline, and they’ve failed, because my ambitions have outrun my preparations. Not this time! This time I’m gonna dig in deep.

I’m an historian, so let’s engage in a little Sim history. Okay, a lot of Sim history. It might be of more than academic interest; at the very least you’ll get to see a man scream at himself across a wide gulf of time, and that’s not nothing.

With that in mind, allow me to present (as if you could stop me)… Ridiculously Old Theatre!

This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It’s grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it’s frankly hilarious. Don’t hold it against me; it’s not beautiful enough!

We have now moved to a place where establishing shots can’t find us. A world which only barely survived to the present day on a CD-ROM so old and so scratched that it needed holes in its aluminium plugged with permanent marker before the reader could read it.

My very first custom neighbourhood, from the far distant days of two-thousand-and-six, the Oak Point Estates.

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